Hi, this is steve and thank you for joining me for my holiday podcast. Yes, it's that time of the year again, the holidays are upon us and the New Year is rapidly approaching. I hope it has gone well so far for you and your loved ones as I wrote about in this month's newsletter. This podcast is gonna focus on you right now. It's a it's a beautiful time. There's a lot to be grateful for. I think it's a time of sharing joy laughter. Being with loved ones. Giving amazing things. A lot of pressure can come with that. I believe personally, sometimes it's a fine line for me to when I feel like I'm being of service, no strings attached, not expecting anything in return. I'm not keeping score to feeling obligated. Many of you have a lot on your plates, visiting families on both sides, whether you want to or not. Ha ha friends. A lot of commitments. Many of you have Children, their home for the holidays. You love it. And sometimes you might be inclined to feel that you're looking forward to them going back to school. And the reason I bring that up in a very loving and laughing way is that that's okay to feel that way. We're gonna talk a little bit about that to be okay with your, your thoughts and feelings and not judge ourselves. And as I said in the newsletter, we want to focus on you and a little self care. We can never have enough of that. I realized that I'm at my best when I'm taking care of myself and when I say that my best taking care of myself and and being of service to others. Being all in on a conversation, I don't know if you notice it, but you know, you pass cross paths with people, you run into people, you start having a conversation and the other person just kind of goes off and you get more than maybe you bargained for and you patiently smile and listen knowing that it's okay to feel that way. I think it is and that they just need a little time. Everybody needs a chance to be heard. And what I'm trying to do is make sure I create space for myself so I can create space for others. I don't want to judge myself and therefore I don't want to judge others. So I think that being aware of when you're feeling obligated versus really being of service, which is a great feeling and when we do that, the universe gives us what we need. And maybe then some, it's a beautiful thing when we feel obligated. There's expectations, there's frustration. We feel let down disappointed because we have expectations, resentments can form that doesn't leave anybody in a good place. And unfortunately that happens. I've been there myself more times than I can recall. So my challenge to you, your assignment if you choose to accept it, Like they say in mission impossible and the reason I use the mission impossible. Um analogy is it's gonna feel impossible. Taking 10 minutes for yourself in a day may seem like it's not important that you don't have time. Why bother? Why is it going to matter if I can take 10 minutes which I do to pause, sit still be still with my thoughts. Try to get connected to the universe reset my intentions for the day because it's never too late to do that and just kind of let the thoughts come and go and accept them pass no judgment. I can reframe the rest of my day. I do other things. My challenge to you is to do one thing each day from the time you listen to this for the next 30 days. One thing even if it's for 10 minutes if you have time to go to the gym and you like to do that, make time for the gym. I can remember my sister when my niece and nephew are great young adults today were growing up and go over to the visit and see how everybody was doing and she would say, okay, it's mommy time and if anybody of, you know any of you know my sister, um you know, she likes to work out and take care of herself and she would hop on that treadmill and go for a little bit and she took that time for herself and I remember that and I remember a lot of good things so I challenge you to do the same thing for yourself. Some self care, learn to be okay with your thoughts and feelings to not not pass judgment on yourself. There's a lot of pressure. There's a lot of great causes. That's kind of a thing today to do a fundraiser on facebook or some other avenue of social media. That's good stuff. We do great things in our communities throughout this country and it's part of what makes our country great. We rally. We really do terrible things happen and we get behind it like nothing else we really do. So there's some great things but there can be pressure. We push ourselves. I'm hard on myself. I have to catch it almost every day. We can't do it all. We can't give time and money to every cause you check out at the grocery counter and they say sir, would you like to give a donation, make a contribution to this foundation today? Sometimes it's okay to say not today and to not beat ourselves up and shame ourselves. So let's talk about you. What can you do for you during this time? I'm so much better for others when I take care of myself. I'm a better listener when I don't judge myself. I don't judge others. It has to start with me, I have to turn inward. I don't know about you, but my self critic never has anything nice to say. That's a part of my ego. I have to accept it and I just do the things that I do day in and day out to embrace it and just to neutralize it. It's there. I'd like to tell it to shut that, you know what up and sometimes I do and that's okay. We're human, We feel the way we feel. It's how we choose to take care of ourselves and then respond and behave as someone in recovery. I wanted to avoid, I wanted to escape, escape escape even when times were good because I put so much pressure on myself. Now I escape in healthy ways. I go to the gym, play some golf boat, whatever your hobby is, take some time, get your hair done, your nails done, listen to some music binge, watch a little bit on netflix, Try not to overdo it, of course, read a book, take a nap and find some you time, Even if it's just for 10, 15 minutes a day, it really matters. We need to take care of ourselves because it's passing us by. So when that person that we run across in the shopping mall and we really do want to see them and we miss them and it's been a long time, we can be all in, we can create space for them because we created space for ourselves and that's something we should feel good about and when we don't, my tendency was to beat myself up, geez, I wish I would have spent more time with them, jeez, I wonder if they thought I was rude, you know, I was in a hurry and I just didn't have a lot of time and it goes on and on and on. So again, I think that's the challenge for all of us going through this holiday season to make sure that we're taking care of ourselves. And it starts with awareness, awareness of our thoughts and feelings to not judge them, to accept them to have compassion for ourselves. Then we can truly pass it along to others. Then we're truly gonna be of service and I don't know about you. But the more I put out there make myself vulnerable, the less I'm concerned about what I'm getting back, I get what I need. It all comes back to me. It may not come to me right then and there, it may be a day to two days a week, a month a year, but it does and I'm okay with that and I've learned to be okay with that uncertainty and I pray every day for the courage and strength to be of service. And now when things come my way instead of complaining about it, I'm aware of my thoughts and my feelings and I start to say things like, you know what, I get an opportunity to do this, to give back to help somebody to counsel somebody, I'll give you a quick example here as we're wrapping up, I've got a trip to go back to where I grew up in the Cincinnati area and it's been a few years since I've been back and here I am finding myself starting to feel obligated. Well, I need to get back. I need to see people. It's been a while. I'm not sure who I'm gonna run into if it's going to be pleasant, if it's gonna be good. I kept working through it, talked about it with a few friends and reframe the whole situation is like, wait a minute, you're in a better place today. You haven't seen people for a long time that you care about and they really care about you. You get the opportunity to go back and offer something up to that universe and just to be, to be a part of things. So I'm looking forward to that. And if you're on the podcast listening, I can't wait to see you. And I think it'll be a great weekend and being a so cowboy Now I am glad that I kept my winter clothes. Ha ha! So again, I challenge you to take some time for yourself. You're worth it. You do matter, do a little self care. It can become contagious and don't beat yourself up over doing that. Don't feel guilty and don't shame yourself. It's great to be with you. I kind of wanted to keep it a little short and thanks again for listening. You do matter. You are worth it. I love you guys. I love you all and have a great, happy, joyous, safe holiday season. And I look forward to circling back with you after the first of the year. And thanks again for all the, reaching out the messages, the kind words. It's great. It really does matter. It means a lot. So remember that, and best of luck to you and God bless.